NAME: |
Ida Thinkso |
BORN: |
To the rythmic medley of traditional Taiko drumming |
SCHOOL NICKNAME: |
"Drum-Drum Mistress" |
MARITAL STATUS: |
Married to the Dewey Decimal System |
TURN ONS: |
First editions, Hello Kitty and communal bathing |
PET PEEVE: |
The rape of Manchuria |
NEMESIS: |
Oscar Meyer Bologna Boy |
FAMOUS QUOTE : |
"Sparkle till it's clean. . . You Biiiiiiiitches!" |
ROLE MODELS: |
Kim Jong-il, Madge the Palmolive Lady |
STORY: |
Born the Okinawan love child of Lieutenant Colonel Thinkso and the Korean Hot Water Mistress of the local Shinto baths, Ida was discovered collecting used towels at an early age by an executive of Misumocho Industries (a subsidiary of Ichi Heavy Machineries). Branded as the Sparkle Girl for Sparkle Dishwashing Detergent, her career soared until the detergent was discovered to cause irreversible nerve damage. She moved to Hollywood to resurrect her career only to discover that she was too well known for her popular catch phrase "Sparkle till it's clean!" which was being used in the United States as an anti-venereal campaign. Considered untouchable by the industry she now works as a librarian bringing the gifts of knowledge to many of our community's underserved children. |